Services to Prospective LGBT Parents

Agreement Writing for Beginners

©Alternative Family Matters2002

What is an agreement?

  • There are 2 kinds of agreements.
    • A co-parenting agreement is a document created by 2 or more people who plan to be integrally involved in raising a child together.
    • A donor agreement is a document created by the woman/women and man/men who plan to conceive and possibly raise a child together.
  • These agreements are legally referred to as An Agreement for the Care and Custody of a Minor Child.

These agreements describe in detail:

  • the parties’ expectations for each person’s rights, responsibilities, and involvement with the child, in terms of daily care and custody, financial arrangements, and decision-making;
  • a specific process for managing any person’s change of heart, mind, or circumstance;
  • a specific a process for handling disputes regarding the child,
  • a specific plan for the above if the parties break up, choose to live apart, or move out of town;
  • a commitment from all parties to behave cooperatively and respectfully with one another in times of upheaval, throughout the child’s life.


There are 3 intended audiences for a co-parenting or donor agreement:

  • The first is the parties to the agreement, otherwise known as the parents/co-parents-to-be.
  • The second audience is the families and close friends of the parties, which, eventually, includes the child.
  • The third is a judge in any conventional probate court of law.
The Purpose of the Agreement is to make certain that all of those mentioned above can have complete clarity about the exact intentions of the parties regarding the care and custody of their child. This specificity is crucial for the parties so there are no assumptions or misunderstandings about what each party expects of him/herself and the other parties.  If anything unexpected occurs involving any of the parties that would stimulate the involvement of family members or judges, these agreements provide
    • An Agreement for the Care and Custody of a Minor Child.
These agreements describe in detail:
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